Feel more connected and stop getting stuck in the same fights.
Relationship Therapy in San Diego
Have you’ve gotten into that same circular argument with your partner again but not sure how you keep getting stuck here?
Maybe you…
Find it hard to talk issues out with your partner instead of yelling at each other, but don’t know how to stop that from happening.
Snapped again at your significant other and you’re not even sure why but ugh- it feel terrible.
Feel like something is off between you and your partner, like you lost connection or enjoying being around each other. You both have been busy and it’s been a while since you’ve even laughed together.
Communicating clearly with your loved one isn’t as straightforward as you thought it would be. But misunderstandings and conflict patterns can happen really quickly between any two people, sometimes even more so when you’ve been together for years.
If you’re having trouble with communicating or arguing in your relationship, know that you’re far from being alone.
You can have the closeness together that you desire and the understanding of each other that you’re after. I’m here to help you get there.
There is a life where you can get through disagreements without yelling and have the kind of conflict that actually brings you closer to your partner. One where you’re able to speak clearly and calmly about your needs and wants. And where you feel confident in your ability to be understood but also kind in your communication.
My approach is customized to you and your concerns, and will be based on your specific relationship issues. We’ll work together to identify where your communication and relationship patterns come from. Sometimes this is from past experiences in our first families when we’re young or our past romantic relationships. It may also be that there needs to some emotional healing from a wound you didn’t realize was still there. By identifying where our relationship patterns come from, they can help us understand why we act and communicate the way we do, as well as recognizing what we may want to change.
For instance, maybe your goal will be to…
Avoid yelling and speak calmly with your partner when you’re upset.
Be able to express how you feel and what you need from a partner in a way that you feel understood.
Be able to bring up a concern with a loved one without fear of conflict.
Feel close to your significant other even when things have been chaotic in your lives.
We’ll work together so you can meet these goals.
This will likely be part learning about yourself and feelings, part healing and part skill building.
It could be something like- you realize you and your partner don’t actual feel heard be each other. Then working to understand where this comes from for each of you, healing times when it hadn’t happened before, and learning some ways to make sure you do feel understood by your loved one.
Reach out today for a therapist in San Diego
When addressing relationship issues we can work on..
How to diffuse conflict if it’s starting to get heated.
Learning what your boundaries and limits are and what you’d like to do to reinforce them.
Different ways to approach difficult topics that don't set you or the other person off.
How to stay calm even when it’s a high stakes topic.
How to communicate something in a way your partner will understand, even if they are very different from you.
To learn more about the couples therapy method I use, check out the Gottman Institute’s website here.
A stronger, deeper romantic relationship is waiting for you.
FAQs
Why is it harder to communicate or stay out of conflict with my partner than it is with some other people?
We communicate and relate to each other with a lot of feelings and emotions included. That’s why we will talk about building self-awareness and learning yourself. The more we know about what and why we are feeling the way we do (paired with some skills), the better we can be at communicating. It’s easier to fall into arguments if the stakes are higher- we care about our partners a lot.
Why is it so hard to communicate sometimes?
I’m a firm believer that because we all come from different homes, families, towns, states, or even countries sometimes and have had millions of different experiences from anyone else, and we have so many different personality traits and genetic makeups, that it actually can be so easy to fall into miscommunication and conflict. Luckily humans as a whole have some things that we can always find common ground on. Such as- the need to feel seen, heard and understood.
Does conflict and arguing mean I shouldn’t be with my partner?
Not necessarily. Conflict is a part of healthy relationships, too. We will always have the potential to experience disagreements in our relationships. It’s way more about how we argue and how we handle conflict with our significant others rather than if there is conflict.