Therapy for Relationship Issues in San Diego
and across CA, NY & AZ
Be the version of yourself you want to be in your relationships.
You struggle to connect with your friends, stay out of arguments with your significant other, or sometimes you struggle to know what to say next on a date or while at work.
Maybe you…
Find yourself in circular arguments with your sister and you’re not sure how to stop it from happening the next time.
Find it hard to talk things out with your partner instead of yelling at each other, but don’t know how to prevent that from happening.
Feel like you misunderstood your co-worker but feel like it’s so hard to approach them you’re not sure what to do next.
Want to concentrate on what your friend is saying to you about their own relationship dilemma but feel distracted easily in the moment.
Know how to have a conversation but sometimes while on a date you’re not sure what to talk about.
Want some people in your life to be closer friends but you don’t know how to get there.
Get into a frustrating back and forth with your parents whenever you’re on the phone with them.
You have relationships that you care about but it doesn’t make them easy to be in all the time. Sometimes you get into a pattern you didn’t realize you were even in and it causes misunderstandings between you and loved ones. Or it’s easy to talk to your friends sometimes but other times you’re not sure where the disconnection happened, but you can tell it doesn’t feel right. Communicating clearly with the people in your life isn’t as straightforward as you thought it would be. But misunderstandings can happen really quickly between any two people, even if you’ve been together for years. If you’re having trouble with communicating or conflict, know that you’re far from being alone.
You can have the closeness and connection you desire and the understanding you’re after. I’m here to help you get there.
There is a life where you can get through disagreements without yelling and have the kind of conflict that actually brings you closer to your partner. You’re able to speak clearly and calmly about your needs and wants. You’re able to hold boundaries with your family members and you reiterate them instead of buckling. You’re able to see and take opportunities for getting closer to friends. You can approach work conversations knowing what to say and how to say it. You feel confident in your ability to be clear but also kind in your communication.
My approach is customized to you and your concerns, and will be based on your specific relationship issues. We’ll work together to identify where your communication and relationship patterns come from. Sometimes this is from past experiences in our first families when we’re young, or our past romantic relationships, or from past friendships. By identifying where our relationship patterns come from, they can help us understand why we act and communicate the way we do, as well as recognizing what we may want to change. Then, we’ll solidify your goals and what you’d like to get out of therapy.
For instance, maybe your goal will be to…
Avoid yelling and speak calmly with your partner when you’re upset.
Get through a phone conversation with your parents without getting into the same back and forth that frustrates you, and leave the conversation feeling calm instead.
Be able to express how you feel and what you need from a partner in a way that you feel understood.
Figure out how to handle that difficult co-worker when they are upset.
Be able to bring up a concern with a loved one without fear of losing the friendship.
Keep your boundaries that you set for yourself even when you're guilt-tripped by someone.
Talk out the ongoing issue with your sister and get closer to a solution.
Get through that work meeting without feeling misunderstood.
We’ll work together so you can meet these goals.
This will likely be part learning about yourself and your feelings and part skill building.
Things like- realizing feeling heard is especially important to you so that’s why it’s extra upsetting when it doesn’t happen. Then, learning how to regulate your feelings in the tough moments, and knowing how to respond in a way that gets you what you want out of the conversation.
Reach out today for a therapist in San Diego
When addressing relationship issues we can work on..
How to diffuse conflict if it’s starting to get heated.
Learning what your boundaries and limits are and what you’d like to do to reinforce them.
Different ways to approach difficult topics that don't set you or the other person off.
How to stay calm even when it’s a high stakes topic.
How to communicate something in a way the other person will understand, even if they are very different from you.
To learn more about the couples therapy method I use, check out the Gottman Institute’s website here.
Stronger, deeper relationships are waiting for you.
FAQs
Why is it harder to communicate or stay out of conflict with my partner than it is with some other people?
We communicate and relate to each other with a lot of feelings and emotions included. That’s why I talk about building self-awareness and learning about yourself so much. The more we know about what and why we are feeling the way we do, the better we can be at communicating. It’s easier to fall into arguments if the stakes are higher- we care A LOT about our significant others and good friends.
Do you work with couples or do couples therapy?
Yes, I do work with couples as well. However, there’s a lot of individual self-reflection and addressing your part in relationships that should be done on a 1:1 basis.
Why is it so hard to communicate sometimes?
I’m a firm believer that because we all come from different homes, families, towns, states, or even countries sometimes and have had millions of different experiences from anyone else (even our parents or siblings or children), and we have so many different personality traits and genetic makeups, that it actually can be so easy to fall into miscommunication and conflict. Luckily humans as a whole have some things that we can always find common ground on. Such as- the need to feel seen, heard and understood.
What if it’s the other person that has the relationship or communication issue?
Sometimes there’s only so much we can do from an individual standpoint in communicating and relating to someone else. And sometimes we have to make a boundary or do what we can to not take on someone else’s issues. If it’s someone we’re close enough to we can try to encourage their own journey of better communication- whether that’s their own individual therapy or couples therapy if it’s your significant other.